History of Monsters 139
stewards, handmaids, table-setters (that is, those who arrange the feasts), pastry-cooks, oil-merchants and sellers, biscuit-makers, rivals, suitors, prostitutes, procurers, companions, judges, cupbearers, soap-makers, pallbearers, corpse-bearers, guards, and executioners. A servant laments his lot in this way:
“My lot is grim and cruel; under a harsh master of wine, I do not drink when I thirst, and when I drink, I am not thirsty.”
A chamberlain has these words for his master:
“If he groans, I rush to him; if he calls for the chamber pot, I am there. If he breaks wind, I praise him; if he relieves himself, I endure the smell.”
A cupbearer, tasting the prince's food beforehand, complains thus:
“Tasting the dishes, I taste venom or death; I fall by right, for I am the cause of my own end.”
A butcher expresses his thoughts in a few words:
“Life falls, and that which sustains it becomes our food; everyone can live safely through our labor.”
A steward proclaims himself worthy of his master's praise in this manner:
“If I have bought a turbot for a hundred coins, or a mule for twice that, my master's refined gluttony proves my worth.”
In military service, men are given various names according to their duties. First, they are called "warlike," and those women who fought fearlessly were also called warlike, such as Cleopatra, Queen of Egypt; Artemisia, Queen of Caria; and Hippolyte, the ruler of the Amazons. Furthermore, they are called generals, regular soldiers, standard-bearers, cavalrymen, infantrymen, the vanguard, surveyors, light-armed horsemen, trumpeters, drummers, decorated soldiers, measurers, candidates, warriors, non-combatants, skirmishers, peltasts, cataphracts, spearmen, shield-bearers, light-armed troops fighting from a distance, archers, commanders of a thousand, recruits, and the *rorarii*, who begin the battle with a light skirmish. There are also the common soldiers and the *triarii*, the strongest of all, stationed in the rear of the army; the discharged, who have obtained leave to depart; the *dimarchae*, who fight in two ways; and those carrying daggers, knives, pistols, or darts. There are those who operate the machines called scorpions, the crossbowmen, and the slingers who hurl stones with a sling, as well as those who handle culverins and fire-throwers who discharge ignited shot. To these we add athletes, boxers, and gladiators. Among them, the trumpeter commends his virtue thus:
“The horse whinnies when he hears me; the arrow flies, the spear is cast, and savage Mars speaks through my voice.”
And the gladiator explains his mind in this way:
“Why do you take up a breastplate? Let us fight with shield and sword; let your heart be your armor, and your heart your helmet.”
When men perform the work of others as proxies regarding matters of the mind, they are called envoys, lawyers, interpreters, scouts, scribes, brokers, architects, and those commonly called secretaries. Thus, a personal secretary, since he must remain silent about all his master's affairs, says:
“I see the King's heart, his cares, and his crimes; I would be happy if I could speak of such things, but I stay silent.”
The architect, however, offers these words:
“My primary art gives measure to all other arts; it is the greatest art, for genius commands the causes of things.”
If the movement of things from place to place is considered, there are porters, charioteers, carriers, couriers, boatmen, litter-bearers, mail-carriers, water-carriers, box-carriers, wine-bearers, and runners; for the boy Atas, in the consulship of Vipsanus, ran seventy-five miles from noon to evening to the great admiration of everyone. Finally, there are the merchants, about whom it is sung:
“The Gaul, the Arab, the Indian, the Thracian, the Celt, the Sicambrian, and the Alan—whatever goods they give me, I carry to your home.”
If the mind is directed toward the materials with which craftsmen work, men are called stonemasons, stone-cutters, builders, plasterers, tinsmiths, goldsmiths, silversmiths, gilders, blacksmiths, glassmakers, carpenters, furriers, tanners, and makers of parchmen