138 History of Monsters — Ulisse Aldrovandi

...it is no wonder that they are called *theostygeis* (hated by God) by the Apostle, and sometimes *aphotistoi* (unilluminated); for in the works of Alexander of Aphrodisias, *athetistos* is said to be an epithet for the silent moon.

Depending on the abundance or lack of resources, men are categorized as poor, illiberal, greedy, prodigal, or usurers; or conversely as magnificent, liberal, wealthy, happy, and fortunate—and especially *polykleroi*, those to whom a great inheritance has fallen.

In terms of age, they are called infants, children, adults, youths, men, the elderly, the decrepit, and *aequaevi* (that is, contemporaries). In terms of sex, they are called male, female, or hermaphrodite. In terms of stature, they are small or tall; in terms of body mass, they are obese or thin. Finally, according to their beauty, they are either deformed and monstrous, or they are beautiful and charming—even *isothikomos*, those who walk about with a full head of hair.

If we consider the dignities appropriate to men, we find that according to ecclesiastical and priestly honors, they are called Pontiffs, Cardinals, Prelates, Archbishops, Bishops, Pro-bishops, Abbots, Priests, Deacons, Rectors, Prefects, Provosts, Priors, Canons, Vicars, Parish Priests, and *Hierophylaces* (sacristans). Furthermore, by reason of secular honor, they are named Emperors, Kings, Tyrants, Nobles, Primates, Senators, Fiscal Officers, Auditors, Dynasts, Envoys, Nuncios, and Legislators. To these are added the Monarch (the Prince of all), the Tetrarch (holding a fourth part of a kingdom), the Cosmarch (Prince of the world), the Decarch (a leader of ten soldiers), the Phylarch (a candidate for imperial office), the Irenarch (elected to calm tumults in the city), the Eparch (governor of a province), the Strategus (a military commander), the Archipolis (Prince of the city), the Nauarch (of a ship), and the Hecatontarch (a leader of a hundred men).

If we contemplate the various duties that men perform, we may first, by reason of learning and discipline, call them Doctors, Disciples, Teachers, Pedagogues, Orators, Lawyers, Grammarians, Rhetoricians, and Poets. One of the latter once sang:

"Virgil did not sing so; Maecenas taught Virgil to sing. Let him teach me also, and I shall sing of great things."

Of the Rhetorician, it is sung:

"Laurels and bright triumphs are owed to the tongue; for when it wishes, it settles war and sets arms in motion."

Likewise, men are called Sophists, Philosophers, Metaphysicians, Theologians, Historiographers, Dialecticians, Astrologers, and Geometers. Of Astrologers, one reads:

"If an Astrologer sees what is not, what is, and what is to come, he is no man, but a God."

The Geometer is introduced singing thus:

"I measure the stars I never touched nor shall touch. Do you wonder? The center and the earth are enough for me."

Furthermore, others act upon the human soul, such as Actors, Musicians, Dancers, Tightrope-walkers, Jesters, Lutenists, and others who sing to stringed instruments, Mountebanks, and Courtiers, of whom there exists a distich of this tenor:

"The madness of envy, heat, grief, and anxious care shut up poisons within gilded thresholds."

The Jester speaks thus:

"I comply, I applaud, and thus I drink sweet Massic wine; so that the Prince may laugh, any shameful thing is proper."

But the Mountebank is introduced speaking in this manner:

"I do not deceive you; your own mind deceives you. You desire vain words; being vain, you shall receive what you desire."

There is also the Musician, singing elegantly:

"Singing, I move hard hearts; all things stand by my gift—heart, blood, eyes, mind, and soul."

If, however, they work upon the body, they are called Physicians, Surgeons, Orchitometrists (castrators), Tooth-pullers, Bath-keepers, Pharmacists, Barbers, Perfumers, Midwives, Chamberlains, Nurses, Retailers, Butchers, Poulterers, Innkeepers, Cooks, Salt-sellers, Sausage-makers, and Servants...