120 Ulisse Aldrovandi

...I know not by what fate a bad thing is made good. Therefore, we should not be filled with wonder if Diogenes, upon seeing a woman hanging from an olive tree and strangled by a noose, remarked: "I wish that the other trees bore similar fruit."

As a finishing touch to these accounts, we shall add several impostures of fraudulent men, so that those who deal with the wicked may guard themselves against such deceit.

In the time of Dioscorides, people used to adulterate saffron with *crocomagma*; today, impostors spoil it with fibers of cooked beef dyed with saffron, or even with the filaments that grow in the center of the cardoon. They increase the weight of oil with turbid water, or with a decoction of turnips and asphodel. They make silk heavier using the steam of boiling water, while others increase its weight by keeping it among green walnut leaves. They enlarge the quantity of honey with chestnut or millet flour—a fraud that is difficult to detect. In wax, they mix the finest bean flour, which burns in candles without leaving any residue; indeed, the weight of the wax is increased in such a way that the fraud is scarcely recognized. They spoil tallow with the ash of ox leg-bones previously burned in furnaces, or by adding white sulfur; in this way, the quantity grows without losing its resemblance to the real thing.

They fake pepper with juniper berries, or use vetch seeds boiled in water with capsicum; once dried, these seeds shrivel like pepper and impart a sharp taste to the tongue, so that even diligent apothecaries are deceived. The weight of bread is increased by soaking and pressing bran in water. Pliny notes that one can add weight to grain by hiding a vessel full of water or vinegar within a pile of wheat. We omit six hundred such impostures for the sake of brevity, and instead recite the following verses so that the vices of all may be exposed and avoided:

First, let those who guard the secrets of the Heavens beware That no false modesty holds them in a faked religion. Let no Prince oppress his people, but let him keep his treaties; The whole world acts according to the example of its Prince. The impious soldier burns with greedy war, While the faithless courtier swells with ambition. He who rails against public crimes does so in vain; The listener praises his words, yet no one acts upon them. The delirious apostate condemns the sect he once cherished, And the care of a rebellious horse harms the charioteer. The gambler blasphemes; the Judge puts off until tomorrow; The Praetor loves the gifts that the defendant offers. A recurring bribe makes the trial last forever, And the law is usually treated like a nose of wax. The lawyer promises much and accepts his gold; The orator is a liar, and the poet lacks any coin. The scribe records lawsuits, leaving such a furrow between the lines That a frog could swim in the middle of the page. The legal advocate follows a fertile study, the hunter a hollow one; The mime performs a work of pure scurrility. The plaintiff hastens the suit, while the defendants seek delay; The augur sings false prophecies from uncertain stars. The vain preludes of sophists satisfy the crowds; Whether a doctor heals or kills, he still demands his fee. The surgeon always loves lawsuits, wounds, and brawls; Thieves hate the lights, the chains, and the cross. The poor man steals, the rich man wants to be richer; The seller of goods, loving money, swears a false oath. The pimp wants to take a double fee from a single deal; The defendant seeks flight from the citadel. The infamous panderer gorges on greasy breads, And the executioner delights in his strange tortures.

The master feeds his servants only so long as their labor lasts;